Uncle Steve's Story Time - Episode 4

Uncle Steve is back with another wild adventure! It's been a while, but this one is worth the wait! Read on to find out:

Out with the Teachers, Again!

It was not a dark and stormy night, the weather was not foreboding at all in fact. If you were to ask, some would say it was rather pleasant outside. It was the perfect setting for the carnival-like atmosphere of Dong Myeoung’s annual Festival Day Bonanza. (I added bonanza).

An exceptional amount of work from both the students and teachers (foreign English teacher excluded) went into the preparation and I must admit, it was a great show. In appreciation of such an effort, the principal invited the staff out for dinner. This is where MY show began.

I took my spot on the floor with my co-teacher and the grade 4 teachers. As the other teachers began to arrive, I soon realized that I would be asked to drink with the boys again. This was made quite obvious when the ‘drinking’ teachers decreed that the seats adjacent to mine be vacated immediately so that they could take them. To my amusement, the 3 in those spots got up and left. Within a minute, I was working the two-glass system again, one for beer, one for soju. I swear to you as I type this, I’m not sure why, but teachers from other tables were coming over to do a soju shot with me, in fact, the waitress ordered up a ‘one-shot’ with me too. Needless to say, my inhibitions were greatly decreased and my Korean started to flow. I told one of the teachers that she was very glamorous and looked like a model. When it was translated to her what that meant, she became quite embarrassed. I may have told her that I had a crush on her too, but I don’t quite remember.

I then found myself at another table sitting beside my female vice-principal. As most of you know, the teacher/administration relationship is fraught with respect. The practice of back-slapping your vice principal is not common in these parts, so I’m sure that she was taken aback when the drunk English teacher sat beside her and put his arm around her. If looking uncomfortable and changing seats is any indication, I’m not sure if she appreciated my friendliness. I may have tussled her hair too, but I don’t quite remember.

Off to the Norae Bang for more beer. I sang some Beatles for them and, as chance would have it, I brought along my camera and took about a dozen pictures with one of my drinking buddies Mr. Sa. After the Norae Bang, Mr. Sa and the Phys. Ed teacher, let’s call him Mr. PE, took me to the next stop.

Was it a brothel? A den of ill repute? Why did the police show up? What could have happened?

This stop was your average Rest Hof. The three of us took our seats at a table and ordered a jug of beer. Perhaps the only oddity was that I was the only one who spoke English. No worries, I would be able to ‘kombae’ my way through this one for sure. I think the conversation was light and fun, the company was delightful and the ambiance you ask? Inviting. Not a particularly busy place, there was one table of 2 sitting across from us and maybe 4-5 more people scattered about.

Now I can’t be sure what precipitated Mr. PE’s angst. He is a rather sturdy man, but Napoleonic in height. At any rate, out of the blue, Mr. PE stood up and delivered a solid kick to the chest of one of the men sitting at the table beside ours. The man reacted in a rather non-diplomatic way; he stood up and started swinging. Tables, chairs and glassware were the first victims and they lay smashed and overturned about the place. Not sure what my role in all of this should be, I took my place between the two to break it up. There was a lot of posturing between the two and for a few seconds peace seemed to be restored. Mr. Sa, who was behind me, pulled me away, not wanting me to be involved. One of the other men took this as a sign of aggression and grabbed a hold of Mr. Sa. My diplomacy ended right there. (author’s note: please understand that I am not an aggressive person, I’ve never punched a face or been in a fight). I grabbed Mr. Sa’s assailant by the lapels and gently helped him sit back down while calmly swearing at him in English and making it quite clear that Mr. Sa was not to be touched. My fist may have been cocked in a rather threatening manner, but I don’t quite remember.

The waitress was rather upset with this unruly behavior and had summoned the police. Upon their arrival, Mr. Sa, the ‘other guy’ and I ended up on the sidewalk leaving the two original combatants inside. Shoddy decision making I agree. The police took the other two away. Still unsure of my role in all of this, I went back inside to see what came of Mr. PE. I don’t understand Korean very well, but I’m pretty sure the waitress was not relieved to see me. Mr. PE however, saw me and then delivered yet another kick to his rival’s chest. Tensions mounted again, I managed to subdue any counter attack by pinning him again. Having restored some order, I saw the waitress with her hand on her head surveying what was once her tidy Rest Hof. The other patrons stood with open mouths, Planters were smashed, soil spilled everywhere. Three or four tables were overturned, jugs of beer lay smashed on the ground, soaking into the dirt.

Mr. PE looked my way and motioned for me to leave, and leave quickly. I complied and saw the next police cruiser pull up. I then ran to my ‘safe’ foreigner bar with a new story to tell...